Comparison- the cankerworm?
Self comparison in a lay-man’s term simply means comparing oneself to others. This comparison tends to be either negative or positive but in our world today self comparison tends towards the negative most of the time.
According to a wise man, self comparison is an act of destruction and envy, am not talking about a self comparison that drives us to .reach for higher positive achievements, am talking of a comparison that tends to make us inferior and less than the people we compare ourselves too.
Let me talk about a part we all are guilty of, have you ever scrolled through your social media account either Instagram or Facebook etc and come across a “perfect girl” or the “every girl’s dream guy” ,have you ever come across people who seem. To have that perfect relationship or family you’ve always dreamt of, someone who has that car or shoe or dress or cash or job you have been wishing for your entire life and it just gets you depressed ,you feel happy for the person while drowning in your own self misery. You imagine yourself in the person’s shoes and then get even more frustrated cause “that’s your dream life he/she is living?.
You go to bed everyday wishing upon the stars and the heavens that you wake up to be like so and so person. You feel a pang of jealously and distaste when you see them,you strive to want to get to where they’re which could be a good thing is you aren’t doing it to the detriment of your mental and emotional health.
Who here has ever felt like they just don’t fit in with the norms of the society, maybe people say you’re too fat like a hippo,others say you too thin like an anorexic patient, others say you’re too poor,some say you are ignorant and lack a good education, others say you can never amount to anything while others describe you as a failure. The ” others” above could be your parents, siblings ,friends classmates ,schoolmates, partners, spouse or even strangers.
You feel people will love u and accept you better if you were like that celebrity or that person next door you stalk on social media and secretly wish you were. You feel the world will be more accepting if you where slimmer ,if you had a bit more flesh, if you were rich,if you were educated, if you were prettier and more handsome,if you were lighter skinned or darker skinned, if you had a long wavy hair and beards or if you had less acne.
The truth is that if you had all these qualities and even more this same people criticising you’ll still find something else to say. Nope you’re not a failure and no you cannot and will not and should not change who you’re to please any body or to look like someone else. You re who you’re meant to be ,you are special, you are amazing. It may not seem like it right now but your future is connected to how well you’re able to withstand the storm and stick to who God has made you to be. The perfect girl may get the boy you have crushed on,the ripped boy might have gotten your girl crush, your sibling might have gotten a distinction or a higher mark than you, you might have dropped out of college??.
But no I refuse to let you give up, there’s something special within you that no one else has nor will ever have, there’s something deposited in you that the world needs to see or risk never seeing it all. If you change yourself to be like the next person then where is your individuality? Where’s your purpose? Where is that special talent?
Look inwards develop that talent,develop that gift , BE YOU and no one else,
it’s good to want to achieve greater heights of success but achieve that height without having to change what makes you YOU.
Don’t steal your own joy. Don’t destroy yourself. You’re amazing,build on the perfection that’s YOU.?
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6 Comments
Shuana Yap
This post is me haha. I’ve been struggling with comparing myself to others, it’s just difficult to snap out of it but I’m trying really hard. Hopefully one day I’ll be free of this and just live for myself and stop with this whole comparing bs I’m killing myself with.
Abbey
And never give up ,it’s a gradual process and I know that one day you’ll get there❤
Spence
A lovely supportive post.
I really liked how you pulled apart the positive drive form of self comparison and the brutal self-flagellation.
Peace and love.
Abbey
Thanks for the comment xx❤
Ellie
This post is so so beautiful, I am working on loving myself more and showing myself more respect! Its a process for sure, but possible!
My recent post: https://lifeofellabella.blogspot.com/2019/01/skincare-saviours.html
Abbey
And I am sure we’ll reach that place soon. Beautiful post btw