Mental health, blogger

Rape but not raped- how did rape become glorified ?

Hey everyone,
Now this is one controversial topic for sure, and this post is no way undermining the terrible effects of rape but rather to broaden the horizon ,and to bring light to the fact that a lot of people have been framed and their whole life destroyed by such accusations. We live in a society that somehow tends to to always believe the story of the female irrespective of the situation, and some girls tends to misuse the society’s trust and conjure up lies destined to thwart an innocent man’s life.

Rape, as defined by https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape , is ” a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual assault or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person’s consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority, or against a person who is incapable of giving valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, has an intellectual disability or is below the legal age of consent. The term rape is sometimes used interchangeably with the term sexual assault.

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For this post I’ll be taking life stories from people who have gone through this, one story that has really touched me is that of Brian Banks– at the time of this incident which am sure has left a dent in his life forever, Banks was a standout high school football player, he was also listed among the “juniors to watch out for” by rivals.com before he had to be expelled over an accusation made by a girl named Wanetta Gibson that he had raped her. Banks was arrested and without the carrying out of any investigation by the law enforcement was charged for rape. Now a rape charge carries a 41years sentence or life sentence,hence he was advised by his then lawyer to take a plea deal of 5yrs imprisonment, 5yrs probation and registration as a sex offender which would have potentially ruined his hope of ever playing football again. He served five years in jail and after getting out on patrol in 2011, he received a message from Wanetta on Facebook asking to see him where she confessed that she falsely accused him after collecting a whooping sun of $1.5million from the school after suing it for “been an unsafe environment”.
 
Thankfully for Brian an organization dealing with such cases, the ” California innocence project” ,took up his case and got additional evidence to prove his innocence and have him acquitted. With the school winning a $2.6million settlement. Brian has now gotten his footballing dreams back on track, so in a way one might be tempted to say it turned out well in the end- but that’s wrong.
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Basically what I am trying to bring out from this real- life kinda horror story is that,our society has been conditioned intact it has been drilled into our minds that women are always the victims,we’re always the ones been picked upon, we’re always the one been looked down on, molested, disenfranchised, manipulated and trampled upon because we are regarded as the “weaker vessels”. Now I am not about to frown on the fact that bitter acts such as rape are been committed against women but rather I also want to bring out the fact ,that not everyone that ” cries wolf has actually seen a wolf”. We as a society have collectively failed those men who have had their names and reputation dragged through he mud all because a woman has decided to ride on how seriously the society frowns on such acts to exact revenge or just to gain the spotlight.
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As such cases of fraudulent rape accusations keep coming to light it begins to bring into question if and whether all rape accusations should and can be believed. It begins to bring into questioning the seriousness of such accusations and begins to belittle the truthful tale  of woes told by women who have gone through this and are trying to finally get closure by coming forward with the truth.  It !might be all fun and games to just call up the police and say so and so tried to molest you maybe because the breakup was bad or you feel like you’ve been done wrong to ,but for once just try and think of the many women going through such experiences on a daily who won’t be given a listening ear because piece of shits like you have manipulated the process and sympathy to suit yourself. You’ve made it easier for guys who are actually guilty of such to ride on stories of false rape accusations and gain their freedom by crying and hinging their stories based on other innocent men. You basically are ruining a man’s present and future for your own gain. No matter the wrong a man does to you, falsely accusing him of rape is now at to get self justification. It’s no way to get fulfillment or vengeance and trust me even God would spit at you for such. Imagine that been done to your son or your father ,imagine the hurt these men go through when even their own families at rimes fail to believe them. No race deserves to have the term “rapists” placed on their men. Sorry guys but I have to deviate a bit here and bring the matter close to home ,check this out more than half of the men who’ve been false accused are black men, now am not trying to saying we don’t have black guys that do wrong but having this pinned without any investigation whatsoever but just because a white woman or even a black woman as well accuses a black man of rape one immediately rushes into conclusion that he must have done it – is quite derogatory and sincerely stupid on the part of any society. Judgements of any kind shouldn’t be based on race,ethnicity or wealth but rather on facts, evidence  and testimonies as well as a thorough investigation.
 
Now to pur security agencies and people in position of power , when claims of such acts are made the right thing isn’t to jump on the bandwagon of “he must die” but rather to dutifully do your job by investigating such cases to the barest minimum. Don’t feel or assume that the female side is the right side, it’s better to double check your facts than to later be confronted with the fact that a person’s life was ruined because you couldn’t do your investigation properly.

Please and please ,it’s time we begin to realize that women could be wrong too and that men could be abused ,assaulted and lied against just as well. Sexual assault or any form of assault for that matter shouldn’t just be limited to a single gender or a single group of people. We should be fair to both genders and to both sexes. We really don’t know whose life can be saved ❤.

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Hey and welcome to my little corner Abbey's chronicles, a blog where I share my raw and unbiased thoughts on issues on mental health, lifestyle, wellness and self care. No topic is ever off limit as long as it affects lives and relationships, it's subject to discussion. This blog strives to provide solace for everyone going through issues they might not be able to talk about on a daily. My name is Abbey, a mental health advocate and enthusiast with a love for helping people who feel alone or are facing issues relating to life and mental health issues with the aim of raising awareness as well as providing succor. This blog was started as an avenue for me to deal with my own monsters. The aim of starting this blog was to for it to serve as some sort of therapy during my darkest times of depression and though it isn't all over yet, I hope this blog serves as a form of therapy to others going through similar issues relating to life and mental health. Finally in my free time I can be seen drowning in movies, food, sleep and books. I guess I am a blogger at night and an aspiring medical student at other times.

18 Comments

  • Ashli

    Thank you for this. I always tell people ‘would you feel this way if they were talking about your father or brother?’ when they are quick to judge and say a man did it with 0 proof. As a woman I think this has to stop! Like you said – this ruins their lives!!! I am glad for the freedom of Brian! That is a wonderful thing!!
    Following your blog now !!!

  • Laura (There Is Light In The Dark)

    Great job tackling a very real issue. This is why our justice system was designed to require investigations and proof- not that those always work, but we can’t just randomly go around accusing people and then automatically believe those accusations without any sort of investigation. It saddens me that some people don’t understand this. Not going on ‘witch hunts’ might help us separate those innocent of rape and those who are actually guilty of it.

  • thewisegreek

    I think in the case, yes the girl should be punished, However, the circumstances aren’t always the same I don’t think it should apply to every case. There are cases where women don’t win either because they don’t have enough evidence or because the man has a lot of money to pay for a good lawyer and she doesn’t. I don’t think women should be punished only if proof of malicious intention can be shown in court.

  • Michelle

    I hear you and I sympathize with men that are unjustly accused of horrific crimes. However, on the flip side, this is such a small amount statistically compared to the actual amount of rapes that legitimately occur. The statistics also can’t capture the rapes that never get reported because of women being dragged through the mud of their past when questioned and attempts made to discredit her. Approx 63% of rapes go unreported. I am the victim of unreported rape and in hindsight, wouldn’t change how I reacted in the aftermath. The system is inherently broken when you see convicted rapists getting little or no jail time as well. The statistics aren’t very trustworthy due to the multiple definitions of rape and sexual assault, but from what I could find was 2% of accusations are false. This means that a man has a greater chance of being a victim of rape than being falsely accused of being a rapist. Again, I sympathize, but with a whopping 63% going unreported, I’m more worried about the women and the harm that is being sustained. 94% of rape victims suffer PTSD. We are creating a society full of women that are broken and unheard. I don’t know the answer, but women already know the “dangers” of reporting. I fear that talk like this just quiets them further.

    • Abbey

      I am a strong advocate against rape and abuse in general,this post was written not to discredit the women who have unfortunately gone through such but rather to bring a side that we as a society hardly speak about. This post is to show the flip side like you said. And not to discredit or quiet anyone who has legitimately gone through such and who should rightly get justice but rather for those who play on the sympathy of the society to pepetrate dastardly act like this thereby making it harder for real victims to come forward. I’m extremely sorry for what you went through and I can say that you’re a strong woman and I sympathize as well with those who have gone through such. Sending you loads of love. And to hopefully counter or get a flip side apart from this one, would you be interested in collaborating with me on a second series?

  • Nam

    Interesting post! You make some very good points. But there has to be a way to prevent false accusations from happening, like a fine or jail time. Other than that, I don’t think this will end because there aren’t any severe repercussions.

    • Abbey

      Yes that’s right, when lies and false allegations are made the accuser is basically left to go about free with little or no consequences for their actions. I hope it gets better

    • Abbey

      It actually does happen and frequently this days just that it doesn’t get any attention. I just want us as a society to give an equal playing field to both the males and females when issues as this is brought up. Until it’s thoroughly investigated. Most people don’t get this but some amen spend years in prisons and it turns out their accuser lied and are left to pick up the pieces of their life while the liar goes free.

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