Mental health, blogger,  Mental health, judgemental, mean, toxic people, anxiety, depression, blogging , blogger, self comparison, negativity, positivity, positive, self love, body shaming, life issues, relationships, love ,l

Dealing with depression, suicide and self harm.

Personally, I would define mental health as a state of complete mental wellbeing, “mental” for me comprises of emotional wellbeing, societal well being and even spiritual well being. We’re in a state of good mental health when we’re at peace with ourselves as well as others, when we’re not moved by the actions or inactions of both the society and ourselves.

The brain,the mind, the soul and the heart are four entities that can either build or destroy a man. Weird right? Now the brain is responsible for the different cognitive functions of the body. Our reactions to different situations are initiated by the brain- the emotions we display at different times are all conceived in the brain.

The heart we know is responsible for blood circulation throughout our entire body,but bringing it home the heart is the most fragile organ in the body and is extremely powerful in terms of either good or evil,even the Bible says “..the heart of man is desperately wicked who can know it” . The mind for me conceives our thoughts and our imaginations– have you ever just sat down and then suddenly you start replaying events or actions that had taken place a while back? yeap that’s your mind at work.

And finally the soul, for me the soul of a man is complex ,you know when people say they’re atheist, I just laugh. It’s spiritually impossible in my point of view for the soul of a human being to be neutral. Your soul must be in one of two places either belonging to God or to the devil. Even the Bible supports this argument,”…for ye are neither hot nor cold and because you are lukewarm I’ll spew thee out of my mouth”( this is excerpts version of the actual scripture).

Now moving along we’ll see that this four entities come together to either aid or downgrade our mental health. The main aim of this series is to get help for those willing and save a life. The rate of suicides are going up everyday we need to do better, no one deserves to go down that road. ?

Depression, depression, depression, this cankerworm has no limits. It eats deep into the young,middle aged and the old. It has no age limit, it affects teens,youths,adults and aged alike. It has no societal status,it affects the rich,the middle-class and the poor. Gone are the days when they say “..the rich don’t cry” or depression is only for the poor.

Depression has no educational barrier,it affects the learned and unlearned alike. Depression has no country barrier,it affects  the developed, developing,under developing and the underdeveloped countries. According to; Depression is ” more than just feeling sad. Everyone feels upset or unmotivated from time to time, but depression is more serious. It is a mood disorder characterized by prolonged feelings of sadness and loss of interest in daily activities. If these symptoms persist for a period of at least two weeks, it is considered a depressive episode.”

   Depression is a state of mental torture, depression is basically the mind playing games on the body. I personally have experienced this and I can’t say am totally clean of it or that have totally overcome it either. Depression totally tramples on ones self confidence and basically affects how one views life and other people. Your mind is constantly thinking of demeaning thoughts, you constantly have to put up a front to other people just so you’re not referred to as weak. There is this fear of losing your loved ones or those close to you either due to previous experiences hence sometimes one sticks in relationships that do more harm than good to our mental health.

  We remain with people who manipulate and bring us down because of the fear of losing them. We tend to change ourselves for those around us. Like chameleons we change our skin and color depending on situations we find ourselves just to have that feeling of fitting in even though we still stick out as sore thumbs. We are constantly self-shaming. For some we constantly feel the need to meet up to a particular standard that has been placed for us.

There’s no excuse for failure or mistakes,we’re forced to grow up early ,we’re forced to be role models in our society and family. We’re expected to reach and surpass academic and societal expectations. The weight of trying to live a life that isn’t you’re weighs on the !Ind and the soul and slowly the body reacts as well. We begin to pull out from events we usually enjoyed, we begin to prefer the silence of our own company than others, we would rather lie on our bed and cry on a Friday night than go partying with friends or people who we know pretend to be friends.

For some we have been so unloved all our life that we cling to the one person that finally shows us a bit of that love we’ve craved all our lives, we begin to give excuses for been treated like shit by the other person, we settle for the least because we feel that’s the greatest love we can ever. We lose friends who can’t see through the facade we put up that we’re actually hurting. We fell like we deserve to lose those friends after all we wouldn’t want to be a burden to the perfect life of others.

We feel like embarrassments to ourselves, families and society as a whole.
One of the mistakes we make is feeling like we’re all alone in this. This is because the society has shaped us in such a way that it’s considered a weakness to suffer from depression , we choose to suffer and keep our issues to ourselves cause afterall “no one cares” . It feels like the entire world is closing in on you, you feel suffocated. But the truth is that you’re not alone .
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We all believe statistics right? Well here it’s you don’t have to feel alone no more, everyone’s struggles and pains are different so no one can confront their battles exactly the same but the fact is there are others who have fought their demons and won. So this can be defeated as well if only you can open just a little bit of heart to this truth that you’re loved ,beautiful and cared about.

  Please seek help if not for anyone’s sake but for the fact that you owe it to yourself to be the happiest and the special version of yourself you were meant to be❤.

   I checked and realized that not all depressions are alike rather there are different types hence people tend to show different signs of this you don’t assume every gloomy person is depressed but then a depressed person is sometimes gloomy,so check below and see if you can specifically identify the one that you believe you’re going through;
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*I know for sure that it isn’t easy admitting that one needs help, sometimes we feel like we should be able to bear our own problems and find solutions to them by ourselves but as much as it’s good to want to not be a burden, there are situations we’re confronted with in life that aren’t meant to be undertaken alone. Things like this test not only our own abilities but also our ability to rise above all odds and strive for help to achieve the ultimate happiness which we all deserve.

*But before we ask for help, one needs to make sure we want the help, it’s one thing to ask for help and another thing to actually want the help. Convince yourself that you have one life and you deserve to live it to the fullest without the drawback of this mental torture. You deserve to be helped, you need to be free of this. Start first by countering each negative thoughts with two positive thoughts.

Quit trying to live to other people’s standard for you it might be academic standards or parental standards or societal standards. Instead set your own achievable standards,set short term goals and give yourself a treat every time you achieve one. Don’t feel the need to rush yourself beyond your capability, know your strong points and work on them and use them for your own benefits.

*Refuse to be put under pressure by achievements of those around you, strive for yours and it’ll come in due course. Most youths and teens get into depression because of pressure of school,because of pressure to be the best – this shouldn’t be ,it’s true good grades will probably take you far in life but the truth is that we all learn things differently and all have different strong points as well as our strong points, if you see you aren’t doing well in your present course then it’s time for a rethink.

It’s time to restrategize either your learning methods or be sincere to yourself if that course is actually your dream or someone else’s. How with your heart, if your heart is in arts then stop forcing yourself to fit into a science class. Go with your heart and be the best at that course or job❤.

*Seek professional help by seeing psychiatrists,psychologists or guidance counsellors. You might be given antidepressants if needed been on pills shouldn’t make you feel ashamed, it should will you on to strive for your well being. Forget what others will say or are saying ,they can make fun of you all they want but it’s your life NAD your mental well being . You owe it to yourself to take advice from the professionals and slowly but surely conquer your demons.

* Stay away from people who strive to bring you down either by belittling you or by making comments that or carrying out actions that drag you deeper into depression. Avoid such people no matter the relationship shared between them. Remove the toxic people from your life. Free yourself from toxic people and toxic lifestyle.

*Finally, talk ,talk and talk. Rather than concealing your feelings and hiding your pains speak out. Talk to close family and friends that you can trust, people who will help you through your journey and not people who will later use it against you.

But if you feel you cannot trust anybody with speaking out ,then get a journal or a diary to write out your feelings. Pour out your feelings in that journal rather than bottling up your feelings this will help a whole lot.
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It’s said that it’s easier to talk to a stranger than to a close one about this well feel free to send me a DM on twitter at . It’s time to face tour demons and defeat them❤ #depressionisdefeatable #depressionsurvivor.

……check out the next topic in the series SUICIDE on my next post

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Hey and welcome to my little corner Abbey's chronicles, a blog where I share my raw and unbiased thoughts on issues on mental health, lifestyle, wellness and self care. No topic is ever off limit as long as it affects lives and relationships, it's subject to discussion. This blog strives to provide solace for everyone going through issues they might not be able to talk about on a daily. My name is Abbey, a mental health advocate and enthusiast with a love for helping people who feel alone or are facing issues relating to life and mental health issues with the aim of raising awareness as well as providing succor. This blog was started as an avenue for me to deal with my own monsters. The aim of starting this blog was to for it to serve as some sort of therapy during my darkest times of depression and though it isn't all over yet, I hope this blog serves as a form of therapy to others going through similar issues relating to life and mental health. Finally in my free time I can be seen drowning in movies, food, sleep and books. I guess I am a blogger at night and an aspiring medical student at other times.


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