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No, im not suicidal. no, you dont need to call people on me either. yes, i know it’s loaded title, and yes i know that even my own posts can trigger people as well. and im sorry for those who are triggered by what i say. I don’t want you to harm yourself or end your life either. I want you to actually speak up about what’s happening in your life.
I want you to let people in, i want you to know that you are important to people around you and that you are loved. It may not seem like you have the world on your side, or feel like you are even wanted, (trust me i struggle with this daily), but there are people out there who do enjoy your company, who do enjoy what you have to say, and who do care a lot for you too.
And there are others who send you positive messages without even knowing that you needed to hear that. and even those that you do look up to they can say one thing towards you about them appreciating you and you feel so much love in the world. (i get this a lot on facebook, people send me messages when i need it the most and i get all teary eyed and i’m very blessed to have them in my life. i also get good vibes from people i look up too and value their opinion as well. and it makes my heart all warm and fuzzy.
Moving on to what i wanted to talk about when i wrote my title Suicidal Triggers, because of social media i’ve learned the word Triggers. For me i thought it had to do with your trigger finger for when you shoot (for hunting or sport or the line of work you do), but what i’ve learned is that those are the things that triggers you and it makes you go weird, or someone you’re not, or you get very frustrated and agitated, or you have full out panic/anxiety attacks, etc.
I’ve found myself in hate groups, where i’m glad i removed myself because it wasnt making my mind healthy it was triggering me into hating myself. and when you hate yourself to your breaking point, you dont want to live anymore. so i guess you can say Hate Groups are Suicidal Triggers.
I have been in other groups, where i felt like i wasnt wanted or i got in because the person wanted to be “nice” but really had a problem with me or made up so many excuses months down the road, instead of i dunno just removing me from the start if they didnt like what i was doing.
Or i’ve had people who find out where im from and my location wasnt good enough and i was told that their group or instagram account is only for ____ if you want to be featured on. But the weird thing is having me already featuring on it and now saying you’re not going to because of my location, is a bunch of bull.
Because my location is on my social media accounts bio, and you could have avoided all of this from the start if you i dunno check people’s profiles out. it’s like people are “fake nice” or “fake social media friend” and they really dont value you at all. They dont see what you are trying to do with yourself or on social media. and you really do feel like you’re unwanted, people dont like you, and you’ll never be good enough to fit with the “in crowd” because youll never be a citizen of that country, because you live somewhere else.
All these feelings that i have with certain groups that ive joined and removed myself after months.. because i see the changes that goes on in my head and how i think.. and i end up even more depressed than when i started, because i really hate the feeling of why do i even exist, why am i here, what is my purpose, why are people not liking me, why cant they see what im doing, why am i being told im spreading hate, etc. so i guess you can say, groups that dont make you feel loved or wanted are also Suicidal Triggers.
Lately there is talk about The Blue Whale Game, where it basically gets people to do horrible things to themselves by trying to get you to do others things as well, and eventually you may end up dead because a game told you to kill yourself. and when you are in that mindset, it’s amazing what your mind allows you to do without having your heart take control of what is really happening.
Like it’s hard to stop yourself from trying to kill yourself when all these thoughts are going through your head. or it’s hard to stop when you’re in this game with other people doing exactly the same things as you. and it makes you feel good that you’re part of a group of friends, friends, friends that you always wanted.
But you are so far gone that you dont see that these arent friends, this game is a suicide game, and you are being say brainwashed thinking this is the only way to live your life. and it’s sickening to me that this game was created and being played. so i guess you can say that their are games (like The Blue Whale Game) out there that are Suicidal Triggers.
Now a days i believe Suicidal Triggers have gotten worse because there are more platforms out there to trigger you. People online, a lot are trolls some are even made to be bots, people will troll you hard trying to get under your skin.
So they can get some kind of pleasure from it. Others will troll you so hard it turns into full out harassment and you’re worried about your safety or your friend’s safety, you have the bots who arent really people they are programs, and they will constantly reply to you over and over again, and they dont stop.
Like they came out of no where, they dont have any followers either, and they just go after you. some bots and a lot of trolls will be nasty with their use of wordage. and if you have a weak skin and dont know you are being trolled or a bot is talking to you, you could very well have Suicidal Triggers.
Like I’m pretty sure a lot of you have seen these trolls or bots, they are not just on twitter, they are on youtube, instagram, facebook, and other platforms. The comment sections are the worse for it i think (which is a reason why my blogs dont have comments on it, a lot of my youtube videos dont allow comments either. Because of the hate from people, the opinions i dont actually want, and people give me advice that i actually didnt ask for.
I also get a lot of people who have fetishes of certain things that i post about and i dont want their crap under my posts. but mostly it’s because of the hate. and i dont want my stuff to get negative attention because people cant be nice to each other.), i see it on instagram all the time too, people gang up on each other to single out someone. or people in chat rooms (i get it alot when i play facebook games, many times the whole room gets turned and im hated for saying hello. or i get hated for asking for help or offering my help. or whatever the case is, im the go to person to be targeted.) so i guess you can say comments can be Suicidal Triggers.
so i guess you can say that life is full of Suicidal Triggers, and it doesnt matter what you do or dont do. People will find a way to trigger you, people will find a way to go after you and hit you hard. People will find a way to target weak minds to go after the children, the adults, the people from another country, etc.
. People will always find a way to make you an unhappy person, people will always find a way to make you want you to harm yourself and end up killing yourself. And the problem with all of this, is that the people who are doing this to each other are the ones who need the most help, because they are unhappy with themselves, they are unhappy with their life, and they are unhappy period.
If you come across your own Suicidal Triggers, have a plan in motion, to help you come out of it. like it’s very hard to change a hate group into a love group, it’s best to not be involved. it’s very hard to stop comments from happening on everything, if you can turn them off go for it. have programs monitoring what is happening in the comments to stop the comments from being triggers.
It’s hard to stop the trolls period and the bots from coming onto your stuff, report & block. Feeling like you are unwanted in the situations you put yourself in, relook at the situations decide if these are healthy for you or not.
look at the friends you are with, do they bring you up or down, do they send you positive messages, do they make you laugh etc. You dont want associate with people who make your mind unhealthy, put thoughts into your head that shouldnt be there. surround yourself with loving positive people and people who appreciate you.
If you need reminders telling you that you are beautiful, put them up and around your room. do what makes you happy, like actually happy not happy because you think your friends will like you more. your friends should like you regardless. Talk about what is going on inside of you. speak out. speak up. you have a voice and you need to be heard. dont let this crap blow up inside your head, let it out.
you are loved. you are beautiful. you are wanted. people do appreciate you. people do care for you as well. you do have a purpose in life. continue being you. ♥