March series, emotional abuse, depression , anxiety, mental health, blogger, blogging, suicide, toxic people, relationship, friendship,love, life ,

I almost died

Trigger warning – suicide

Thanks to Jaycob for agreeing to do this, it isn’t easy sharing your story and speaking out, you can follow him on twitter at
It’s 2019, and we still haven’t gotten there yet. It’s 2019 and we still cant talk about mental health. It’s 2019 and still, each day, 123 people a day die by suicide, 79% of those being male. When are we going to get past this “Stiff upper lip” mentality for men and come to the realization that men have emotions, men feel things, we don’t HAVE to be these stoic figures that the world has wanted us to be for so long. 

In the year 2016, I tried committing suicide. I took a handful of pills, laid down, and hoped to die. I was two years into my marriage and was trying to be this stoic husband that I thought my wife needed me to be, and it all just became too much for me to handle. I ended up in the hospital for 12 days between the medical unit and the behavioral health unit, after which i was in outpatient treatment for the next six months.

All of this could have been prevented had I not bought into the stigma of mental illness. All of this could have been prevented if I had just asked my wife or family for help. I’m nearly 3 years removed from my suicide attempt and I am stronger now than I ever thought I would be. Yes, I’ve gone back into the hospital for more treatment, and spent time in various forms of therapy, but you know what, that’s okay. 

Men don’t need to be these perfect beings that go on about their days as if nothing has affected them. Men can cry, men can feel, men can hurt, and it is okay to show it.
Hopefully by 2020 we won’t have to have this conversation.

About the author

Jaycob Martin

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Hey and welcome to my little corner Abbey's chronicles, a blog where I share my raw and unbiased thoughts on issues on mental health, lifestyle, wellness and self care. No topic is ever off limit as long as it affects lives and relationships, it's subject to discussion. This blog strives to provide solace for everyone going through issues they might not be able to talk about on a daily. My name is Abbey, a mental health advocate and enthusiast with a love for helping people who feel alone or are facing issues relating to life and mental health issues with the aim of raising awareness as well as providing succor. This blog was started as an avenue for me to deal with my own monsters. The aim of starting this blog was to for it to serve as some sort of therapy during my darkest times of depression and though it isn't all over yet, I hope this blog serves as a form of therapy to others going through similar issues relating to life and mental health. Finally in my free time I can be seen drowning in movies, food, sleep and books. I guess I am a blogger at night and an aspiring medical student at other times.


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