I really don’t know if emotional bullying is a word or if it has an official definition but I chose to not do any research on it but rather take this more personally. For some days now I’ve being in some sort of emotional decay as my emotions has been targeted by people I once described as friends .
No one can claim perfection and neither can I, I’ve said things that I’ve come to regret in the heat of the moment. I lack communication skills needed to foster and keep healthy relationships and friendships and u til recently I never even noticed it-but I’m trying to work on it and better myself by using past experiences.
Recently I’ve had words thrown at me by people I once considered myself inseparable from and sincerely I’ve never had a better reason to actually realize that this time I actually made the best decision . I’m a huge 21 savage fan because somehow the lyrics of his songs somehow relate to me in certain ways. His song “ball without you” had one lyric that has stuck with me so far:
See love is just a feelingBall w/o you -21 savage.
You can love somebody and still stab them in the back (Oh God)
It don’t take much to love
You can love somebody just by being attached (21)
See loyalty is a action
You can love or hate me and still have my back (Facts)
See, we can be at opposing ends of the world spectrum but by virtue of the friendship we share or once shared there’s a level of respect given. When you say things you know will certainly hurt someone just because front he friendship you once shared you feel you’ve a certain level of leverage, then there’s a problem.It means there really wasn’t even a friendship, y’all where just attached for a season.
Making fun of people you were once close to because you feel you’ve lost their friendship, sharing their secrets with every Tom, Dick and Harry that happens to give you a listening ear under the guise of “saying the truth” isn’t a reflection of that person but rather a reflection of your lack of loyalty to the friendship you once shared.
When you do or say things consecutively that hurts someone’s emotions on purpose because you feel the person is no longer your friend you’re inevitably burning the bridge of ever rebuilding a friendship with that person ever again. Whether you intended to or not. Your behavior might be coming from a place of hurt to get back at the person but trust me you’re only giving good the person more reasons to be happy they finally stayed away form you.
It is only a fool who needs with someone because of another person. When there’s no wrong done to you directly or indirectly don’t judge on the bandwagon of hate just to prove that you’re indeed a true friend to the other party. You’re only doing yourself a disservice and burning bridges that could have potentially been of help to you later on..
Through all this going on with me, I’ve found solace in art, I’ve always wanted to learn how to draw but then I’ve always being quite lazy to act on the enthusiasm I had for it. I just enjoyed seeing other people make great art while I sat on my high horse just wishing and wishing I could hold a pencil and draw a straight line.
I guess the best things come unexpectedly, after yet another day of emotional whirlwind I decided that it’s time to act on my passion and just see what it holds and I started using YouTube drawing tutorials to help me learn, and I cannot explain to you the amount of joy I felt that day.
Just seeing the artwork at the end despite the numerous erasing of errors, the many corrections and all that made me realize that finding inner peace and joy in situations like this all depends on you.
What’s that you’ve being meaning to learn?, have you ever wanted to write a book?, have you wanted to learn how to draw?, have you ever wanted to learn how to bake?, have you ever wanted to taking singing, dancing or gym lessons? Then go for it, you don’t need to be in an emotional downhill or period to finally find out your main form of therapy or your go-to source for temporary happiness and joy.
Here’s a bit of the pictures I’ve drawn since I started this therapy a week ago thanks to Farjana’s drawing tutorials on YouTube.
I would love to hear from you guys, what do you do as therapy?